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Despite finding the advertising scum tactic of endorsement deeply suspect, I find it helps me sometimes to think of other famous people who share my sometimes misunderstood habits.... vegetarianism, car hatred, very late sleepers and people who declare themselves non-monogamous. Here's the list of the lists, then... in this order: VEGETARIANS AND VEGANS DECLAREDLY NON-MONOGAMOUS PEOPLE PEOPLE WHO HATE GETTING UP EARLY (some of the 83% of people to whom this applies) PEOPLE WHO'VE NEVER HAD OR WANTED A CAR HOW ON EARTH DID THEY DIE? (This is a list of people who died out-of-the-ordinary deaths; enjoy every minute, folks 'cause you never know what's round the corner) VEGETARIANS NOT Hitler (debate about this rages on the internet) Jesus Christ (more internet debate on this if you're interested) Leonardo Da Vinci Albert Einstein George Bernard Shaw Mahatma Gandhi Leo Tolstoy Paul McCartney Pythagoras Albert Schweitzer Alicia Silverstone The B 52s Benjamin Spock Bryan Adams Charles Darwin Chelsea Clinton Dan Castellaneta Hans Christian Andersen Jean Jaques Rousseau Jerry Seinfeld Queen Sofía of Spain Ralph Waldo Emerson Linford Christie Steve Jobs Thomas Alva Edison John Wesley Martina Navratilova A hell of a lot of the early Catholic saints Stanley Matthews (ate vegetables at home, but fish and meat when dining out with team-mates due to lack of an alterntaive) Eddie Hapgood (legendary Arsenal 'keeper - was told to change his vegetarian diet in order to 'beef up' for the team) AND NOW... THE VEGANS... Pamela Anderson Woody Harrelson Joaquín y River Phoenix Bryan Adams Robin Gibb Chrissie Hynde Morrissey Sinead O'Connor Barry White Carl Lewis Peter Bogdanovich CATHOLIC VEGETARIAN SAINTS
PEOPLE WHO HAVE DECLARED THEMSELVES NON-MONOGAMOUS:
William Moulton Marston (creator od Wonder Woman), Jeremy Irons, Kirk Douglas, Goldie Hawn, Kate Hudson, Scarlett Johannsen, Ted Turner, Peter Stringfellow, David Bowie, Angelina Jolie, Andy Warhol, Marlon Brando, every Muslim (theoretically) Prince, Frank Zappa, Larry Flint, Hugh Heffner, Gerald Kinsey, Jean Paul Sartre, Simone de Beauvoir, Emma Goldman, Alexander Berckman Philip Larkin, George Melly Margaretha Gertruida Zelle (Mata Hari) who declared in court that she loved having sex with high-ranking officers. This was when 'feminism' hadn't even been thought of. Jeremy Irons - declared in a newspaper interview that he liked having affairs, as did his wife. Angelina Jolie, who has said she's bi-sexual. I suppose that implies non-monogamy, so add any other bi-sexuals you want to the list The Artist Formerly Known as Squiggle - almost obligatory in his line of work, as we could say of a lot of musicians (let's start by mentioning Frank Zappa) and, by definition, porn stars.
PEOPLE WHO HATE GETTING UP EARLY Rossini (who prefered to copy out a page of manuscript that had fallen to the floor rather than get out of bed to retrieve it) Winston Churchill, who said 'never trust a man who goes to bed before midnight' Gila, a Spanish comedian, who gave not having to get up as his main reason for going into show-business A NYC mayor in the 20s (I've been trying to find his name) who declared that you should 'never go to bed on the same day as you get up).
PEOPLE WHO'VE NEVER HAD OR WANTED A CAR Coming soon
HOW ON EARTH DID THEY DIE? Garrincha Rasputin Ivan Grozny (Ivan the Terrible) Jock Stein Eric Morecambe Tommy Cooper Benny Hill Tchaikovsky Anton Webern Isadora Duncan Thomas Midgeley Frances Farmer was a failed mad Hollywood actress who threw herself off the Hollywood sign. William II was killed on a hunting trip by an archer who confused him with prey, William I (The Conquerer) was killed because his horse bucked after stepping in the burning cinders of a town that he had set light to. It was only a slight buck, but the king landed on the saddle pommel and died due to internal bleeding. Nostradamus – the ‘young eagle' Ramon Navarro (1920's Hollywood star) was beaten to death in the 1960's by burglars with a lead dlldo that had been given him by Rudolph Valentino Jean Harlow's newly married husband attempted to kill himself by chopping his penis off on their honeymoon, possibly owing to extreme performance anxiety. Hemingway Schumann Cliff Burton (Metallica's bassist) Jimi Hendrix Jim Morrison Kurt Cobain Sid Vicious Janis Joplin Ian Curtis (while listening to “Idiot” by The Stooges) Buddy Holly Big Bopper John Denver Matthew Harding (Chelsea Director) Jane Seberg
Jock Stein Ian Paisley Eric Morecambe Tommy Cooper Antoine de St Exupéry Da Falla
Danton – guillotine (Madame Guillotine, popularly thought to have been guillotined herself, wasn't... apparently) Marat –stabbed in his bath Miguel Hernández Lorca M José de Larra
HOW ON EARTH DID THEY DIE? (part two) CAR PARTS My friend the car is quite a killer, too. I found this in an English newspaper: "In 1998, Hook gave his car keys to an acquaintance, convicted criminal Darren McGee, so that McGee could sell Hook's car. Instead, McGee used it to hide 54,000 pounds worth of cannabis resin in the boot. McGee and another man, Lesley Sharp, were jailed the following year for cannabis possession with intent to supply. Both men have since been killed in separate car crashes." And quite a few other, more famous, people have suffered the same fate: Scott LaFaro (25 años) Bill Evans bassist Ayrton Senna, ironically The footballers Laurie Cunningham, Peter Houseman, and Gordillo James Dean Hank Williams Marc Bolan Gaudí (by a tram) Pierre Curie (by a horse pulling a cart) Kamo (Stalin's bandit friend from his home town). Possibly oirdered by Stalin himself. As was commented at the time, it seemed curious that "the only car in town crashed into the only bicycle in town"
And here's something that ocurred to be the other day on the subject of Believing or Not believing, from a thing I'm writing called Detrimeniancy: "I was cycling along the road yesterday and I passed a zebra crossing which a little girl, aged 6 or 7, had run across. She was happy and excited and said to her mum ‘Come on, we'll be late' just before she tripped over and fell heavily on the pavement. It must have hurt. I wondered if I should help, but thought it better not to intrude at that moment. There isn't a single child in the world who hasn't ever fallen over. That's how they learn not o run too fast. Then a thought occurred to me which frequently comes into my head. It's a question for Believers: why would God do a thing like that? Forget wars, famine, plagues, evil, people born blind or deaf or with crippling illnesses; they might even have some theological mumbo jumbo explanation to rationalise them away. My question is; Why would God change that little girl's world from one of expectant happiness to one of pain?"
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